Unbridled hope for the future
I’ve recently watched a documentary of a group of children whose lives have been documented from the age of 7 at seven-year intervals they are now 56 years old. The series was originally intended to show how socio-economic conditions determine a child’s future. They were so wrong! As it turns out good and bad choices determine your future.
It was so amazing to see the enthusiasm and hope of each of those children when interviewed initially but sadly the flame of hope seemed to be fading as the reality of life set in. It became really hard for many to keep their eyes on the prize. Some did achieve their childhood goals and others were forced to redefine what success meant to them. I must admit that I was slightly jealous that my thoughts and ambitions weren’t recorded because I’d love to know what was ideas were cooking in my little brain at a really tender age.
I have no plans to subject my daughters to a documentary series on such a grand scale. However, I do have every intention of letting them know that the sky is the limit and only they have the power to decide their future. The future is super bright for them and I will make every effort to keep their dreams alive!
Three little words!
If you love someone…tell them!
I’m totally taken with the idea of living in the now. Don’t wait until tomorrow for what can be done and said today.
The greatest feeling in the world is to love and be loved in return.
Live…Laugh…Love!
Life is too short in general and not just at that moment when someone you know passes on and you are forced to face the fact that you will not live forever not in this life anyway!
I often take living and breathing for granted and ever so often I’m forced into realising what a good life I have. Of course there are many things I don’t own and would love to but you know what…that’s life!
Apart from just having good manners, being grateful and trying to be a good citizen there are other rules that I try to apply to my daily life.
1. Love without conditions
2. Laugh out loud
3. Help the less fortunate
4. Limit complaining
5. Try to see the best in people (not so easy for me I might add)
So wherever you are and whatever you do make sure you live your best life now. No regrets – live, laugh and love completely!
You’re so vain…
Vanity! Is there anything less attractive than a vain individual. I’m all for confidence and a healthy self-esteem but vanity is a bridge too far. Should there be an age limit for this kind of indulgent, self-centred behaviour?
Fun and sunshine
So we’ve been enjoying the most wonderful spell of sunshine and it’s been rather refreshing. After spending a few winters here in the uk the one consolation is that the sun will reappear.
The winter feels a bit like going through difficulties and waiting for some respite from that problem. It’s so reassuring to know that winter and troubles don’t last forever! So at the moment the world just seems right in fact it feels like Christmas to me. All I want to do is eat, drink and be merry preferably outside.
So if the dreaded winter and his frosty relatives are visiting in your corner of the world take heart summer will eventually arrive. As for me I’m gonna make the most of the awesome weather because in true British fashion the sun will soon be evacuated.
Cheers to the toasty sunshine!
The day the union jack arrived!
What a year for all things British. The queen celebrating her jubilee and of course the Olympics. Generally the British public come across very patriotic but this year has gone to a whole new level. Everything and anything that can be ‘jacked’ has been ‘jacked’. At this particular moment in my life as an immigrant I feel a bit like a traitor. After all the only South African brands I posses are my bafana bafana soccer jersey and of course my proudly South African accent. I’m now in possession of a ‘jacked’ cooler box thanks to the most magnificent spell of glorious sunshine.
It is now a serious case of ‘when in Rome do as the Romans do’. I have very little option but to go with the flow. My girls have some celebrations coming up which requires them to wear the red, white and blue. I must admit even I want to break out singing ‘God save the queen’. The atmosphere is tangible and I have every intention of enjoying this historic period in British history. I’m certain this doesn’t happen everyday!
Independence day!
After a week which went from one responsibility to the other I decided to take a well deserved break today. My ideal loafing day always includes staying in pyjamas for as long as possible and having way too many coffee breaks from just being alive and breathing.
I love being a wife and mother but having children who are as young as mine it borders on being criminal if I tell them to see to themselves. I can just picture the scene iced lollies and fizzy pop for breakfast. So for this reason alone I am forced to crawl out of my warm lazy cocoon and provide nourishment for my offspring.
In reality my days of total independence are a long way off but I’m grateful for a laid back morning where there are no time constraints or rigid schedules. Who can resist a good old lie around every now and again?
The face of an angel
I’ve often wondered how people can have such varied opinions about an individual’s character or personality. I’m often described as being overly serious and on the other end of the spectrum I’m described as being rather funny at the best of times. Of course if I could fake a perfect first impression it would be a smile, a warm greeting and wonderful conversation. I know myself well enough to know that’s not what happens. Though to a large extent it depends where I meet people it only makes perfect sense to have degrees of openness.
I was out having lunch and an elderly lady at the table next to me ‘made contact’. I’d hardly said anything at all to her and she kept going on about what a wonderful person I was. It’s always nice when somebody uses kind words but I couldn’t help feeling that she was too quick with her admiration I mean honestly how could she know me after five minutes. I did engage her and listened attentively to her stories. After what seemed like eternity she eventually said goodbye. I thought to myself as I watched her leave there are just too many lonely people in the world.
Life can consume us at the best of times but while we’re busy being preoccupied there are so many people out there who just need a smile, nod, wave or an attentive ear. Margaret Rose you thought I had the face of an angel (many would disagree) but if it’s what you needed its good enough for me! Here’s hoping all of your desires and dreams are realised in this lifetime.
Diagnosis: Clutter
Whenever I watch these hoarding programmes I can’t help but wonder how people arrive at that pitiful state. Sadly most of the time there are underlying psychological problems usually brought on by some kind of trauma. However for many it seems to be a case of just not wanting to let things go. It starts off with receipts (my personal war), supermarket bags and magazines. Before you know it you’re renting space in your own house.
Generally I’m not one to hang onto stuff I just lack that sentimentality in
my life these days. During my teens I used to keep every last thing up to and including movie stubs. Can’t even imagine the storage I would require at that rate. These days I keep very little and pride myself on getting rid of stuff. I have a simple motto when it comes to clothes if you haven’t worn it in six weeks you probably don’t want it and if it fits doesn’t mean you have to keep it!
At the food bank where I volunteer I’m always amazed at how grateful people are for the donated clothing. It may not seem important to you because you’re able to walk into shops and buy what you want but for many people your donation of used clothing could be life changing. So here’s the challenge check your cupboards, closets and wardrobes and give to a worthy cause.
Remember hoarding starts off with clutter!
The mystery of slippers
I don’t think there is another item in my adulthood that has needed replacing as often as my slippers. Perhaps it’s because I’m home so much. Or could it be that the manufactures have a way of designing them in such a way that you just can’t own them forever. I love slipping my feet well okay I mean shoving them into a well-worn pair of slippers. Sadly just when I’ve custom-made them with my toe indentations and they are slightly tilted outwards like only I can do to a shoe they need replacing.
I’ve spent the last week searching for a worthwhile replacement because before I arrived in the UK I always wore a particular style. I’ve been forced to try different styles and I’m still searching for a pair as good as my native ones. Now you’re either a slipper person or you’re not. If you’re the former you are nodding your head in fierce agreement if not you can’t believe I’ve given slipper replacement this much thought!
Today I picked up a pair at a supermarket wouldn’t be my first choice but they looked pretty and very similar in appearance to my usual style. Needless to say after wearing them for the shortest time I can tell they are definitely not keepers but at least they look good.
So the next time you go around to someone’s home and find them wearing rather rotten slippers just know that they are afraid of losing their ultimate form of comfort. You might just be surprised to find a brand new pair waiting for its turn to be broken in like a stallion. Who would’ve thought a good pair of slippers could make a girl so happy. If you have a pair that make you feel ‘at home’ treasure them because I’m certain they will not last forever!
How I met my mother
Happy mothers day to all the amazing moms. Whether you’re fortunate enough to have just one or crazy enough to have a tonne. To those with empty arms waiting patiently and sometimes anxiously if you’ve cared for somebody else’s child you’re a mom in my eyes.
This is a day to celebrate the woman who gave you life! Gifts aren’t everything but it is a way to show that you care. So whatever you present the first lady in your life with make sure it’s heartfelt. It is traditionally a day of flowers and chocolates how lucky am I because I love them both. Sadly though I’ve had my day in March but what the heck I’ll celebrate again today because I deserve it.
So here’s hoping you have a day that is tailor-made for you. Filled with love and gratitude. Moms are not perfect but they sure do try their best. Today is the day to focus on the victories not the shortcomings of mothers. Truth is nobody is perfect. Let it be a day of reconciliation and peace because it’s naïve to think that everybody appreciates their mother. We have one life let’s make it count.
Happy mothers day!
International Nurse’s Day
Funny how people have very different ideas about the job that nurses do. A while ago was invited to give some insight to some 4year olds about the job of a nurse after my daughter Gemma volunteered my services. It wasn’t a very easy task because for some crazy reason all they could think of was injections. I didn’t go into too much detail just in case there were some potential candidates in the class. The truth is I wish a nurse had told me what it was they actually did. I swear I would’ve done a totally different job!
Nursing changed my life radically and the responsibility made me feel older than my years. When I applied to join the nursing profession I had visions of sitting next to patients and listening to their concerns. Instead what I found was protocols, procedures, circulars and many more paper and filing opportunities. These days I am really glad to be living a rather carefree life without the hassle of constant recording and reporting or being reported to.
There were many duties I was not prepared for when I started. The top shockers were bathing patients, wrapping deceased patients (which by the way I grew to love), feeding patients and collecting and testing urine samples. It all seems so trivial now but it really bothered me at the time.
So to all the amazing nurses who continue to care for and provide some of the most basic care I salute you. Happy Nurse’s Day to you!
Ordinary people
I’ll be the first to admit that I can be a really good friend, well, that’s what I think anyway. When I come across people who I could possibly form a lasting friendship with, I must admit it really throws me off-balance when I realise all the planting and watering will come from my side. To me friends are not people who hang about waiting for harvest time.
Now if you honestly think about your friends you will see exactly what I mean. There are those who run a mile when you’re facing difficulties and then can’t get any closer when the days are good. On the other hand there are those who really do stick with you through thick and thin. Sadly the way our lives are structured these days many of us have wonderful friends spread across the world. I have forged some wonderful friendships since arriving in the UK.
Then there’s the friend who just smothers you with kindness and/or complaints. You know the type when you get a text you just grind your teeth. You hide from them in the supermarkets collapsing displays in an attempt to get as far away as possible. When you’re a kind-hearted long-suffering person who has such friends you don’t have the heart to say ” I know we’re just friends and I wish we were so much less” The key to these friendships is small doses. Just enough not to make you sick.
I have been thinking about friendship quite a bit the last few days. Family is important to me but friends are equally important, after all you need somebody to complain about your family to! This post goes out to all the amazing people whose paths I’ve crossed and have taught me so many lessons about myself. Thank you for allowing me to be myself. To those who’ve just ground their teeth on seeing this post…oops!
Surfs up
I love going to the beach and having a good swim. I’m not into picnics at the beach the sand is enough to drive me mental. Just writing about it makes me miss South Africa.
I’ve been unusually tired the past few days and it’s not from a lack of sleep. As I was lying on my bed this afternoon the feeling I had was much like you do after a trip to the beach. Chasing after big waves and being toppled by unexpected ones which leave you confused about which way the shore lies. I’ve had lots of those experiences and what follows after a wave chasing and throwing session is usually the worst fatigue. Perhaps it’s just me who is treated so poorly by the waves but I honestly feel washed up at the moment. No amount of coffee can bring me back from the brink of possible collapse.
I can’t help but feel I’m in a tidal experience. I can’t wait for high tide and just being energised enough to ride the crest of life without feeling like I’m falling off the edge. So grateful that nothing lasts forever. Bring on the next cycle!
The sweetest thing
It has become very obvious to me that there is something fundamentally wrong with me when the highlight of my day is lying on the couch and being proud of doing absolutely nothing. As I lay here my only fear is that I may just regret not using this alone time a little more productively. My excuse is that I’m recharging and we all know how important that is.
I’ve just cast an eye at the clock and it’s lunchtime. Seeing as my girls are not here I don’t have the pressure to eat something nutritional. I guess it’s going to be cake and ice-cream for me. Seems so hypocritical but that’s the joy of being the mom.
Ciao for now while I enjoy the rest of my very lazy, laid back and irresponsible parent day!
The wonder years
I’m so glad to be completely out of that phase in my life. Far too much time spent wondering if you’re good enough and how your life may eventually turn out. I’ve misplaced my twenty year plan but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t half as good as my life is now. Funny how a sense of insecurity gives people some kind of power over your life. The truth is if you have no direction your friends depending on who they are may lead you astray or towards your destiny.
I’ve had both types in my lifetime and actually to a certain extent we have the good and bad in our lives constantly. The difference now is that I can ignore the nonsense and take only what adds value to my life. I’m so glad that people don’t define me and I won’t allow them to. The sooner you learn that not everybody is a fan of yours the sooner you can get on with your life.
Like most things in life not everything is in black and white. I have many shortfalls and the one I’m least proud of is judging people too soon and feeling awful when I realise that I’ve made a poor call. My mother used to say that people are not ice-cream you can’t just taste them and decide you don’t like the flavour. It takes hard work to get past the flavours we don’t like to get the taste of the ones we do.
I’ve met many people in my lifetime. I’m grateful for them all because there’s always something to be learnt from friendship. Some I expected to last a lifetime and just lasted a season others ended in betrayal, heartbreak and disappointment followed by far too many sleepless nights wondering where it all went wrong.
These days all I strive for is to be less judgemental and to try to see the best in everyone I meet. I don’t always achieve my goal but it doesn’t stop me from trying again. There’s only one of me ( no doubt some people are glad about that) and I’m trying to be the best me there is!
Bank holiday Monday
I’d known for some time that today was going to be a holiday. Funny thing is I had all the time in the world to plan something worthwhile for the girls. I’m sad to report that the day started very late and seeing steady rainfall doesn’t add to the holiday spirit.
The only entertainment was going to be a trip to the mall. As I approached the stagnant traffic I just knew I’d made the wrong move. At this point it was too late to get out of this slow-moving traffic. Eventually we arrived at the mall and it felt a bit like Christmas eve. We manoeuvred our way around the mall and I was glad to be in the car and on our way home.
This bank holiday was a complete washout and I have every intention of planning ahead for the next one. Here’s hoping the sun makes an appearance next time around. We live in hope!
Mummy can you hold me?
These were the sweet little whispers that I was woken to this morning. There is so much to be learnt from children. Sadly as they grow up they are taught to read between the lines and from my experience there is often much more between those lines than you can ever imagine. We teach them about suggestion with the hope that they’ll actually get what they want. So today I had a three-year old who wanted her mummy to hold her, she asked for it, got it and we were both happy.
My husband and I were married just two months when my birthday arrived. Wanting to please me and get it right he asked me what I wanted. To this day I can’t believe I said I wanted nothing. My special day arrived and yes you guessed it he got me sweet nothing! I was livid and he was calm because it was simple to him I got what I asked for! Needless to say these days I give an extensive list and the surprise is the one he eventually chooses. It’s a win – win situation.
Some days I wonder if life is as complicated as we make it out to be. Perhaps it is we who create unnecessary drama and resulting unhappiness. Though we have many choices and the chance to make our feelings, fears and requests known the other side of those choices is somebody who needs to be taken into consideration. This is my dilemma with life the truth is you can’t just do and say what you want because it’s a terrible thing to be found on the other side of somebody’s truth and opinion.
Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial. The art is to find the balance and this requires wisdom which is not very common in society today – you just have to trawl social networks to see the evidence.
What is it that you need today? Will you be brave enough to ask for it?
Routine business
Today I was woken up at what seemed like the crack of dawn. You see anything before 08:30 on a weekend is insane. After a rather busy week all I want and I guess it’s what most people want is to lie in just a teeny bit longer!
People often ask me what I do to fill my days. I don’t need to do anything as anybody raising kids knows just how demanding our little ones schedules can be. As a stay at home mother I just can’t find it in my heart not to attend my girls activities.
Some days I feel like hiding under my bed and letting the activities pass me by. I quickly remind myself how blessed I am to be able to accompany them to every activity. I know they love scanning the crowd and seeing me there with my trusty camera.
So I guess the trips to school functions and after school activities will continue for a while yet. Life is a cycle and I’m spinning in the child raising capsule at this stage in my life and I love it – most days anyway!
Polling day
So today is local election day and I decided to cast my vote like all responsible citizens should. As I walked to the polling station I was honestly thinking it may have been a bad idea to have taken my girls along because in my mind I visualised these long queues. That vision couldn’t have been further from reality. The room was as empty as an unused grave. It took me all of three minutes to fill out two ballot papers. I’d like to think there are that many stations that at any given time there are a bare minimum of voters at the polls.
The Brits do love to queue and I’m sure there are many disappointed voters out there who dreamed of enjoying a popular pastime. As for me I’ve given myself a pat on the back for braving the pouring rain to put my X on a ballot paper. Funny how empowering that feels! It’s true though every vote does count.
Value for money
I don’t mind paying for quality but one thing I cannot stand is being short-changed. I don’t know anybody who is pleased with getting less than expected. Going shopping with my girls and keeping an eye on them is my priority in the supermarket. Though lately I’ve been doing my mega shop without them.
I’ve kind of slipped into the habit of just paying whatever the cashier says and on far too many occasions I do a double-check when I get home and get seriously angry with myself when things don’t add up. At this point I make a note to self that I should pay more attention.
In recent times I was charged for a party load of lager. Sad part is the goods were scanned not despatched otherwise I might have been forced to just down the whole lot. Fortunately I was reimbursed and am glad to report that I didn’t have to convince the staff.
Today was one of those days when I took a leisurely stroll to claim what was rightfully mine and walked away feeling rather pleased with my effort.
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