Mothering Sunday
As this day draws to an end I’m so grateful for the opportunity to be raising three wonderful children. Though I sometimes complain about my lack of personal space I would never trade motherhood it teaches me so many new things daily. I love that my girls keep me sharp with their enquiring minds. My only request today was for the girls to give my lap a rest. It may not sound like much but honestly the minute I sit down my children think I’m a mobile bench. I’m pleased to say they really did try!
Many mothers would’ve experienced a range of emotions on this day set aside for honouring them in the United Kingdom. Love, joy, sadness, despair, guilt and loneliness are just a few. It breaks my heart to think that there are mothers out there who have offspring who don’t care about their welfare and of course mothers who fail to nurture their children. This world can be so cruel.
Tomorrow the daily mother grind will kick in if or when things get to breaking point I’ll try to remember how special I felt when I received those handmade cards declaring how beautiful, thoughtful and loving I am. I have a little cheat up my sleeve because when the second Sunday in May rolls around I’ll join my South African friends in celebrating Mother’s Day again. It’s a win win situation.
Superhumans
Having watched two documentaries (From Romania with love and My new hand) which showed how selfless and amazing human beings can be. I’m feeling overwhelmed with appreciation and gratitude for individuals who make decisions to adopt children and those who donate organs.
There are many people who do amazing exploits every day by going the extra mile for those in need or who find themselves in difficult situations. The world needs each of us to do what we can to help. For today though I would like to salute these Superhumans!
Growing pains
Today we took another major step as parents when our daughters got their ears pierced. They’ve been asking for some time now and we’ve always managed to change the conversation and prolong this very important step. We did persuade our youngest to wait just a little longer. She has no idea it may be three more years.
I do realise that it may not be a big deal for many parents who choose to have their children’s ears pierced as soon as they can. So while we’re filling out an ear piercing application form I realise how things have changed since I had my little ears pierced. Everything seems so much more complicated these days.
Having chatted to many parents and after discussing the do’s and don’ts for their respective families it is very apparent that one shoe doesn’t fit all. Some mothers have gasped in an almost disgusted way when they notice that I paint my girls nails something I have no problem doing I just think its a girly thing much like carrying a handbag. Being a parent means having to make decisions and choices for your children and sometimes with them.
The piercing went off without a hitch apart from the slight wincing and that was understandable. Tonight we have a chuffed 7 and 5yr old who are very pleased with the outcome. We are now secretly hoping that it will be a while before we have to agree to another major decision. Well what was a major decision for us anyway!
It’s easier to leave than to be left behind
After reading what seemed like some of the most devastating stories in the news the past week or so I have felt deeply for the families who are left behind to pick up the pieces following the tragic loss of loved ones.
I really despise the fact that death is one of those occasions where nothing more can be said by the one who ceases to breathe. There are no answers just unanswered questions. Death has proven itself to be a thief in the night. There is no way to prepare or avoid it. It just happens without warning!
Life hands out different measurements to each of us. Since we’ve no idea how much time we have I guess the idea is to make the most of our time. The challenge is to be the best we can be.
Love, laugh and and above all forgive. No regrets!
Shoulder to cry on
I’ve spent a good part of the day looking for a quote about life that would describe the way I’m feeling. That hasn’t happened and I’ve decided to give it a go trying to sum up the very different aspects of life I’ve been exposed to over the past few days. I guess the thing about life is that stuff happens whether we like it or not and whether or not we deserve it. Life is so full of opposites. Death and birth. Laughter and tears. Success and failure. Victories and defeats.
I wish I had all of the answers to all of life’s most complex questions but I don’t. What I do have is loads of empathy and reassuring hugs. When I go through tough times and deal with unpleasant situations all I need is somebody who provides a shoulder to lean on and to listen to my rumblings and ramblings.
If you meet somebody who is going through a rough time just give them support and understanding. Life is unpredictable at the very best of times and though we know it goes on that’s not what you wish to hear when faced with death, sickness or heartbreak!
DIY decoded
I never really get the point of people wanting to do their own installations and repairs around the house. Don’t people realise we’ll just put qualified people out of work if every Dick, Tom and Harry figures they can build a wall, tile a floor or paint a gate? Granted there are people who are naturally talented when it comes to all things requiring flair. I am not one of those people and there are some days that I long to just produce something that’s super creative and perhaps jaw dropping. I have some of those friends who just seem to have a truckload of creative talent.
With my husband at work tonight I had to bleed the towel rail and I knew I’d be up to the task once I’d checked out you tube. Thank goodness for this wonderful world of online advice. It’s not the first time that I’ve had to go to these strangers and seek their advice. Just last week the battery died on the fire alarm and I had no idea how to remove it from a very high ceiling. Adding to the challenge I’m a bit afraid of heights and a good friend came to the rescue. Seriously everything seems to fall apart once my husband steps out the door. I feel like life is pushing me to up my game and realise my DIY potential. Okay then life tomorrow I shall top up the windscreen fluid but please don’t let me fill my own petrol!
My husband is a proper DIY man and I really need to pay more attention when he sorts stuff out because no matter how small the need it really has the potential to drive me insane. I’m now looking forward to some time out from these tedious repairs. Come on life let’s find a challenge!
These wounds run deep...
How did I get here you ask?
As you look on me with fierce judgement in your eyes
Your plastic smile struggles to hide the hatred you actually feel for me
My sexy clothes, my bad make-up, my shame...
You think I wear them as a crown but you are wrong
These wounds run deep you see
Tell me your story you say…
Memoirs of a broken heart
Last week I met a survivor, she looked like everyone else, smelled like everyone else but if you looked close enough, paid enough attention, you would notice the sadness around her edges, the tiredness in her eyes.
But that was not the only thing I saw in her eyes, I saw something peculiar, something I did not notice straight away but it became more and more apparent as she shared her life with me...
Reflections in the mirror
Whenever my husband or I discipline our girls the first opportunity we get we laugh about how grown up we sound and very parent like. Yes! I know we are parents but it’s hard to imagine that the things our parents said which certainly annoyed me are now my go to lines. I honestly thought I’d have a bit more creativity. Turns out you can’t escape those trusted reprimands.
If you’re a parent and you don’t find yourself sounding like your mother because for some reason the mothers always seem to have an arsenal of comebacks I’m not sure how you survive enforcing discipline. Some days I find myself asking “why can’t you just behave?” then I imagine them thinking to themselves “I’m just a child that’s what we do!”
My methods differ to the ones I was accustomed to as a child.
My first choice is to ban my girls from watching telly but it’s one of those where you should seriously consider the time limit you blurt out. At the moment that punishment is in place until the end of the school week. I do feel rather sad when they start displaying model behaviour and I’m tempted to give them just a little reprieve. Unfortunately at this stage of their little lives I’d also like them to know that my word is my bond even when it hurts me.
The naughty step is also one of my favourites for my youngest and it works great she always seems to just accept her punishment. Supernanny would be so proud of the both of us.
Children are an amazing gift and the responsibility on parents to shape their behaviour not just for now but their future is a daunting task. The challenge for me is to steer them in the right direction with support and occasionally some discipline without stifling their individual characters.Finding a punishment that fits the crime is a constant struggle. Perhaps the time has come for me to face up to the fact that I am a mother and being a bit of a nag bag comes with the title!
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