Life, Love, and Passports

The act of marriage

Today my parents celebrated their 41st wedding anniversary. An awesome achievement in this present day. Their marriage is a model on which I try to cultivate mine. Admittedly it is not as easy to work on a marriage as I thought it would be. After all falling in love is just so easy-well it was for me anyway. Sometimes I think I sustained a head injury in the process!

I’ve been married for a miserly eleven years and while that is an achievement in itself it hardly makes me an expert. I often think back to the first year of marriage and never in a million years would I like to go back to that place of insecurity and trying to find my place in our union. I’ve heard it been said that marriage is like a fortified city and those who are in want to get and those who are out want to get in. The truth is that nobody knows what goes on inside those walls except for those involved.

I like to think of marriage like potty training. You make the decision to potty train and whatever happens you just have to stick with it until you get the desired result.  Some days will be accident free and some will be a sequence of disasters but you have to reflect on the good of days gone by and be hopeful that the next day will be better. At some point it will seem like your goal is accomplished after weeks of toiling. Then out of the blue there is a mishap and you feel so disappointed but you have to offer encouragement and work through the difficult patch.

The moral of my story is that we all have good and bad days we just have to find ways to move forward and for some people it involves making drastic life changing decisions. Marriage is not easy by any measurement and anyone who says it is surely lives in a fool’s paradise.


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