Life, Love, and Passports

Archive for November, 2012

Power of the tongue

I’m looking forward to the day when people realise that reckless uttering does have a deep impact on others. In these days of freedom of speech and the right to make your feelings known there is only one aspect of this behaviour that is evident and it’s name is selfishness! Quite frankly not taking into consideration another persons feelings is just thoughtless. Of course there’s the tendency to claim it is a matter of being honest.

As a person who speaks constantly and loves having an opinion about most things I have to constantly evaluate my comments. Unfortunately some days I get it totally wrong and all I can do is apologise sincerely.
On the other hand there are some overly sensitive people and I try my utmost to limit my conversation with them because having to respond to ‘what do you mean?’ throughout a conversation can be quite draining.

I guess there’s never been a better time to count to ten. Learning to control the tongue is indeed one of the hardest jobs in the world.

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Memoirs of a broken heart

There is hope!

For sale : Humans

Last week I met a survivor, she looked like everyone else, smelled like everyone else but if you looked close enough, paid enough attention, you would notice the sadness around her edges, the tiredness in her eyes.

But that was not the only thing I saw in her eyes, I saw something peculiar, something I did not notice straight away but it became more and more apparent as she shared her life with me…

I saw HOPE!

Hope even after her innocence was taken at age 6, hope even though it took her 20 years to escape,  hope even though she has lost years of her life to abuse, prostitution, pain, heartache, abortions, drugs and sorrow… still I saw a glimmer of hope which began to radiate from her very being as she told stories about her rescue, about her journey to learn English and finally about the journey she is about…

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Guidelines to surviving Monday

I have a love/hate relationship with Mondays sometimes I win and other times I barely survive. Try as I may to prepare myself for the most disliked day of the week I seem find myself grappling with an impossible task.

Having gone to bed at midnight it was always going to be a difficult start to the day. Late nights for me always mean late starts in the morning. In my defence though I have become a rather accomplished time chaser. Having said that I must admit it’s no fun trying to get three kids to do the same.

Here are my guidelines
1. Go to bed early
2. Wake up and get out of bed when the alarm goes off (easier said than done!)
3. Preparation, preparation and preparation the day before.

I guess my problem lies with these guidelines I don’t implement any of them. The week has started and I’ve made it through the day. The best thing about Mondays they come around often enough for me to try to make them work. Take heart if it’s been a difficult one for you it won’t always be that way!


Being thankful…always

This is easier said than done. I’m not sure if I should blame the attitude of self entitlement on human nature. I’m constantly finding myself in situations where I become aware that I’ve forgotten to be thankful for all that I have. There is so much I don’t have that I would like but they fade in comparison to the important things I have in my life already.

Is an attitude of gratitude a lifestyle? If that is the case I need a serious attitude adjustment. As I’ve gone through this week I’ve met people facing various problems and I looked inside myself and came up pretty short each time. So I guess I’ve been given a chance once again to be thankful…always!


Decaf please!

Sadder words have never been spoken in a coffee shop. I must confess when I’d hear people utter this ridiculous request I’d shake my head in disbelief. Honestly you walk into a coffee shop and your choice is coffee with very little of the poison that makes it worth defiling your body for. At that point I want to suggest that perhaps hot chocolate would make the most sense.
Oh, how quickly my world has changed.

I walked into a coffee shop Costa coffee to be precise because I’ve got a private boycott against Starbucks who’ve been dodging taxes here in the Uk but that is a blog for another day!
I walked up to the counter and could barely bring myself to utter the dreaded request “decaf please”. You see it’s been almost three weeks now that I had to make the very difficult decision to stop drinking fully leaded coffee. Now I’m not certain if it’s purely psychological but I feel much better since reducing my caffeine intake.

The withdrawal symptoms have completely subsided and I was feeling slightly foolish in the beginning for acting like I’d survived something fatal. Being out and drinking coffee is a integral part of my life. So yes I’m really grateful that decaf is an option. To all the hardcore coffee drinkers think of me when you put that beautiful poison to your mouth!


If…

I’ve had a somewhat challenging day emotionally. The challenge for me is to try to keep life and it’s lessons in perspective. It’s so easy to complain when things go wrong. I really would love to have the kind of attitude that tries to see the best in every situation.

I love poetry and this is one of my favourites. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
‘ Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling


Thorn in my side

Today was one of those days that I decided to give the football team I claim to support half a chance by actually sitting down to watch them play. So there I was just short of donning the home colours of Arsenal football club when Adebayor who used to be part of our fold scored for his team. Oh man that really hurt and I could tell he felt like an absolute hero.

The problem with my team and I’ve long held this view is that they struggle to perform when things start wrong. I’m so glad today was not one of those days. Moments later Adebayor went from hero to zero by being sent off. Having been a top performer in the Arsenal jersey it looked like a weight had been lifted from the players who began to play like a team possessed.

Truth is I am a fickle fan and if the game had gone differently I might have found other ways to use my time. The smile on Arsene Wenger’s face and his unbridled enthusiasm was a change from his glum appearance.

Final score Arsenal 5- Tottenham 2. Another successful North London Derby and hopefully only positivity and success will follow from here! Come on Aresnal you’ve put us through enough the time has come to show your prowess!


Soundtrack to my life

Music is a very important part of my life. I don’t just enjoy music it’s part of who I am. I know it may sound a bit overboard but my days are always filled with music. The best part is being able to find the perfect song for the mood you’re in. If I’m not listening to beautiful tracks then I’m singing my way through the day.

I love the way I can instantly remember people, moments and feelings when I listen to my ‘growing pains’ music. Some of it may have seemed obscure at the time but now I find them pertinent. It is usually a stark reminder of the very best of times and sometimes the absolute worst of times.

I’m so grateful for the many people whose paths I crossed and introduced me to new sounds and genres. My life is all the more colourful because of the amazing diversity I now possess. When I meet people and they confess that they are not really into music I become very suspicious of them because in my world music is a must have and never an option.

I guess all that’s left to say is ‘thank you’ to the talented songwriters, singers and musicians. Your talent makes my heart sing!


Trapped!

While out and about with my husband at the local shopping mall yesterday there were calls for an evacuation on the level we were on. There was not a single person in that coffee shop who was not thrown into some kind of panic. The truth is nobody wants to be in danger. The security were tight lipped about the incident and rightly so.

It later emerged that a woman in her forties had jumped from the top floor and was severely injured which later led to her death in hospital. My first reaction was ‘why would you do something like this?’ My next reaction was one of absolute sympathy. I know nothing of this lady’s life but she must’ve felt really cornered to choose such a drastic option.

People who commit suicide are often labelled as selfish and cowardly which may be the case but we’ll never really know because that is the nature of suicide. Whatever an individuals reason for choosing this path I imagine their feelings must all be the same and I imagine that they are filled with turmoil and crippling fear.

On the other hand people who attempt suicide are labelled as attention seekers . I must admit that is quite a big risk just to get some attention. Having worked as a psychiatric nurse very often patients would be relieved to find that they had survived and a dialogue is often started between them and their loved ones. Such a pity that it has to get to this point before a person can earn a listening ear.

I’m no expert but it has got to be said that we need to listen more and offer help to those in need. I love talking and often have to remind myself to listen as well. Everybody should have someone in their life who they can confide in and share their deepest concerns. Suicide should never be an option but sadly it is for one too many precious lives.


My baking challenge

Since watching the Great British bake off I’ve been so inspired to fill my home with the aroma of freshly baked treats. My journey has started and it’s quite hard to explain how happy my heart feels after I’ve measured, sifted and beat my creation into shape. Then of course the cherry on the top is taking it out of my little oven and finding out it’s a success. My response is always unbridled joy!

I now have a plan in place to bake as much as I can and hopefully never tire of the happiness it brings. I’ve always loved baking and making all things dessert and I’m not sure why I suddenly stopped this rewarding activity. I suppose it’s a good idea to blame it on having babies along with my weight gain and circles under my eyes!

I am now looking forward to a long and tasty relationship with my baked treats!