Today I got ‘that’ call from school that I always dread. It went something like ‘your little one is poorly and would like to go home’
Our girls have general good health so when these calls are made I actually go into panic mode. I can’t get to school quick enough to pick up my precious cargo.
On arriving at the school I found myself explaining that she was totally fine when she left home. I’m not exactly sure why I felt the need to defend my actions. There was nothing to defend it was simple she went to school fell ill and needed to go home! It was just another reminder of the fear of being judged for my parenting skills.
After all the panic and guilt I realised that all my girl wanted was to lie on the couch with her momma and be told she’ll be better soon.
There is no substitute for a mothers touch. I do love being a mother and it’s always rewarding when my children find comfort in my arms.
The last three weeks I’ve been watching this series. While I’m one for drama and suspense I get really freaked out when I watch stuff that’s so real I’ve no doubt it could happen. Having said that and being a glutton for punishment I continue to watch with one eye opened and with intermittent breathing.
This series takes us on a journey a frightening journey of a young British boy who is abducted in France while in the care of his father. Needless to say that is every parents nightmare I know it’s mine. After all I’m the crazy mother who keeps shouting for her children when out and about. After a near fatal breakdown I hear ‘I’m right behind you mummy’
This is why I’m enduring this torturous series I’m waiting for a fictional boy to be found.
I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster ride and in pain for all the families who have to live through this. These precious people young and old cannot be forgotten and it’s up to us to keep them in the forefront of people’s minds. Unfortunately the media have a short attention span and the lost and taken are quickly forgotten.
Bianca Couch you are not forgotten. It’s almost three years since you disappeared without a trace. Your family and friends have not stopped hoping for your return.
Being a mother is a rather tough ask at the best of times.
Most days are filled with mundane tasks. Overseeing meals, teeth brushing (my least favourite!), the school run and other countless activities depending on the day of the week.
There’s the constant refereeing in my house which is a skill very quickly developed when you have three strong willed daughters all with the need to be right all of the time. Do not underestimate how exhausting that is. Peace is usually restored when they are all sent to different spaces in the house.
I love being a mother (most days) and some people (clueless ones) will judge me for saying that. If moms were honest and avoided trying to appear invincible we’d be a huge support to each other. Imagine a world where we didn’t have to pretend and just said the way things were without fear of being judged or appearing as a failure. I’m blessed to have friends who I can just inform that ‘I’m fed up’. I’m always guaranteed support and words of wisdom.
Today was one of those days where I felt that I must be doing something right. It always feels so rewarding to get positive feedback about my offspring because it fills me with pride.
Motherhood is a maze of experiences and emotions. No two days are the same each one filled with twists and turns and occasional dead ends. We’re challenged constantly and learning as we go along…on the job training!
If I had to describe my attitude in times of trouble for the most part I’d say I take it in my stride.
More recently though I find myself taking longer to shake the unpleasantness off.
I’ve had to take stock of my emotions in recent days which hasn’t been easy. In retrospect I realise that stuff happens people get hurt and we move on…except it’s getting harder to move on.
If we truly consider others feelings we’d think twice about the things we say and do. You’d assume that thought process would be second nature when we conduct our daily affairs with people.
The challenge for me right now is to not just value myself and my emotions but to think of the way I treat others too!
I decided to start swimming regularly earlier this year. I’ve always enjoyed swimming not just in pools and beaches but filthy dams, slimy rivers and just standing under the odd waterfall! Any opportunity to swim was grasped with both hands. I have wonderful memories of my friends and I just frolicking for the heck of it.
My swimming schedule has been a rather challenging experience mainly because I’d set targets for myself and really wanted to keep up ( it’s not always easy!) not just the frequency but the quality as well. For me the best way was lane swimming and I’ve learnt not just to push through time barriers but more about myself as an individual.
As a person who could quite easily exist without rules lane swimming requires me to go in one direction only. It also requires me to keep moving. Quite a challenge but I think I’ve kind of mastered that.
Being me I occasionally decide to venture outside of lane times. At those informal sessions I tend to swim zig zag because I can. I also have regular breaks and admire the surroundings (can they ban those awful little trunks please!)
Swimming has taught me so many valuable lessons. I can do whatever I set my mind to. Like in life it’s easier to compare yourself to weaker people and that may make you feel like a better person. While I started out relishing overtaking slower swimmers I now target stronger swimmers and try to keep up though I should add I’m not always successful. There’ll always be somebody in life who is fitter, faster and more fabulous than you’ll ever be. It’s all about being the best you can be .
We all set different challenges at some point in our lives, sometimes we lose and other times we win. I’m learning to be realistic about goals I set but in the meanwhile I’ll just keep swimming!
Wow! It’s hard to believe that it’s been more than six months since I shared my ramblings. What’s even stranger is that I didn’t miss writing until just a few days ago. I’ve glanced through a few posts and I’m reminded now of what a great escape it is.
Life has just carried on as it does. Summer has come and gone. The Christmas lights have been switched on. The days will be crisp, dark and wet for the foreseeable future.
So what’s changed while I’ve been hibernating? I’m still a stay at home mother to my three children even though they’re all at school full time – weird I know.
My days are mostly filled with swimming and baking because if you bake you should swim or do anything that makes you feel less guilty about all the cake you eat!
I’m still in good old England living the dream (or a beautiful nightmare!).
I look forward to sharing more of my
experiences as a wife, mother and legal alien!