Life, Love, and Passports

relationships

Mothering Sunday

As this day draws to an end I’m so grateful for the opportunity to be raising three wonderful children. Though I sometimes complain about my lack of personal space I would never trade motherhood it teaches me so many new things daily. I love that my girls keep me sharp with their enquiring minds. My only request today was for the girls to give my lap a rest. It may not sound like much but honestly the minute I sit down my children think I’m a mobile bench. I’m pleased to say they really did try!

Many mothers would’ve experienced a range of emotions on this day set aside for honouring them in the United Kingdom. Love, joy, sadness, despair, guilt and loneliness are just a few. It breaks my heart to think that there are mothers out there who have offspring who don’t care about their welfare and of course mothers who fail to nurture their children. This world can be so cruel.

Tomorrow the daily mother grind will kick in if or when things get to breaking point I’ll try to remember how special I felt when I received those handmade cards declaring how beautiful, thoughtful and loving I am. I have a little cheat up my sleeve because when the second Sunday in May rolls around I’ll join my South African friends in celebrating Mother’s Day again. It’s a win win situation.

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It’s easier to leave than to be left behind

After reading what seemed like some of the most devastating stories in the news the past week or so I have felt deeply for the families who are left behind to pick up the pieces following the tragic loss of loved ones.

I really despise the fact that death is one of those occasions where nothing more can be said by the one who ceases to breathe. There are no answers just unanswered questions. Death has proven itself to be a thief in the night. There is no way to prepare or avoid it. It just happens without warning!

Life hands out different measurements to each of us. Since we’ve no idea how much time we have I guess the idea is to make the most of our time. The challenge is to be the best we can be.
Love, laugh and and above all forgive. No regrets!


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Forgiveness is hard work yet so rewarding!

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Hello February

I’m not sure if it’s just my age or if time really is on steroids. I’ve still been wishing people ‘Happy New Year’ up until a few days ago and now this rude awakening to the fact that time has certainly marched on.

February is considered the month of love and though I don’t make any effort when valentines day pops around it does remind me of my high school days when there was a kind of frenzied excitement over anonymous and not so anonymous gestures of admiration and interest. Expectations were high and results were often disappointing.

Oh to be one of the popular girls needing assistance to carry your truck load of flowers and cards received from giddy love struck boys. I was not one of those girls and I recall just one year when I built up the courage to send a card to a really nice boy. I bet you wondering what happened next well sweet nothing because I wasn’t brave enough to sign my name. The fear of rejection outweighed every other teenage intention.

As we head into the month of roses, hearts, blossoming romance and established relationships I hope you’ll make the most of February however you choose to celebrate it.


To yourself be true

I’ve just watched a seriously disturbing documentary about people who fake who they are on social networking sites. I started out watching Catfish being filled with hope with the possibility of young love blossoming and as the story unfolded I found myself wanting retribution for the wrongdoers. I don’t want to give too much away but in the end I found myself shedding a tear for all the lonely people who feel unloved and are looking for acceptance and think the only way to be accepted is to fabricate the ins and outs of their lives.

As we go along lives path we meet many types of people but the one thing we all have in common is our deep need to be loved and accepted. Social networks have become a place where people put themselves on display and I’ve learnt to take many things with a pinch of salt. Popularity is now defined by the number of contacts and friends you have and strangely enough people are still lonely.

While I do enjoy using social networks I cannot let them define me. The idea of these networks is to make them a part of your life not your life. If there was one thing I could change about social networking is this billboard mentality people have when it comes to their personal lives. There’s a time and place for everything and social spaces are not the arena to showcase ones issues.

I enjoy sharing aspects of my life but I’ve decided where to draw my line in the sand. I don’t consider myself secretive but rather cautious because once your business is out there it is officially everybody’s business. Such a fine balance to expect no lies and still monitor truth!


Trapped!

While out and about with my husband at the local shopping mall yesterday there were calls for an evacuation on the level we were on. There was not a single person in that coffee shop who was not thrown into some kind of panic. The truth is nobody wants to be in danger. The security were tight lipped about the incident and rightly so.

It later emerged that a woman in her forties had jumped from the top floor and was severely injured which later led to her death in hospital. My first reaction was ‘why would you do something like this?’ My next reaction was one of absolute sympathy. I know nothing of this lady’s life but she must’ve felt really cornered to choose such a drastic option.

People who commit suicide are often labelled as selfish and cowardly which may be the case but we’ll never really know because that is the nature of suicide. Whatever an individuals reason for choosing this path I imagine their feelings must all be the same and I imagine that they are filled with turmoil and crippling fear.

On the other hand people who attempt suicide are labelled as attention seekers . I must admit that is quite a big risk just to get some attention. Having worked as a psychiatric nurse very often patients would be relieved to find that they had survived and a dialogue is often started between them and their loved ones. Such a pity that it has to get to this point before a person can earn a listening ear.

I’m no expert but it has got to be said that we need to listen more and offer help to those in need. I love talking and often have to remind myself to listen as well. Everybody should have someone in their life who they can confide in and share their deepest concerns. Suicide should never be an option but sadly it is for one too many precious lives.


Affectionately yours – hand holding decoded

I love watching couples and how they interact. Of course in life there are always extremes with some showing no affection publicly and others going totally over the top with their public display of affection. I guess the question is how much is too much? Is it ever too much?

The display of affection may just have everything to do with people’s personalities. I imagine then that if opposites really do attract it can’t be very easy being overtly affectionate and then sharing your affections with a stone. Perhaps affectionate actions can be taught. After all it may just be learnt behaviour that needs modifying. Hand holding can tell you so much about a couple. I thoroughly enjoy observing hand holding grips. I’m not qualified to make an assessment but I’ll let you in on my weird thought process.

The interleaved fingers is my favourite grip because it’s secure and generally you have to inform the other person of your intention to stop the hand holding. Perhaps a sign of commitment.
The solid grip where he or she is in charge and I call this the airport or shopping mall grip. Being dragged along usually at the ‘grippers’ pace.
The loosely held grip comes across as a duty rather than a choice. This grip is okay when dating and usually follows the request to have your hand held.
Finally the pinky grip! What is that all about? A total lack of commitment and control in my unprofessional opinion. Thinking about the pinky grip now makes me wince.

Couples show affection in many different ways so if you’re not holding hands that’s okay. I guess the bottom line is if you love someone show them in a love language they understand.


In my opinion…

There are times in my life when I wish somebody would give me a serious jab of truth serum. It’s not that I don’t know the truth it’s just that my common sense and sheer courtesy stop me from saying what I really feel! Have you ever been in a conversation with somebody and just wanted to “let them have it” give them your honest opinion and walk away without any regrets.

Aah! I’m just thinking of all the conversations that would be nipped in the bud by a simple “you’re talking absolute nonsense” or “that’s a lie” or “I can’t stand your negativity”. Now if only I had the nerve to be so straightforward.
Well perhaps I may start by giving an honest opinion when one is requested. The whole truth and nothing but the truth!